Fall in Seattle

The unbelievably glorious summer days are over.

Fall has begun.

All these years in Tennessee – fall was my favorite season but the summers of the Pacific Northwest are spectacular and have almost replaced Fall as my favorite.

I and DH put out all our Fall decorations. 

There is something so settling about welcoming season.

The hybrid homeschool

This is the first summer that I am not desolate when its over (though I will miss the lovely blue skies).

The reason is that R is not going to regular school this fall.

 He goes to our neighborhood school for some speech therapy and social therapy but the rest of the week he has a combo of: 

• ·       ABA based school
• ·       Homeschool
• ·       ST+ OT
• ·       Community trips (more in this below)
• ·       Social skills

He works about 40-50 hours a week (pretty hard I think).

But he has so much to learn and we keep it fun.

DH and I are trying to create a thread of steel through everything we are learning. 

So ABA and homeschool is about ecosystems- that is the kind of books we look at in the library.

Community trips

His Sunday Therapist’s job is an ABA therapist and her job is simply to take him to a field trip and write an essay on the field trip. 

This then is linked back to his regular school curriculum. 

For example, last  Saturday his teacher took him to the police station and the pet store

They are so nice to him at the police station

Since the station is empty – officer Rebeca lets him sit inside a squad car and even puts the lights on for him

The second trip is to the fish store -  they have  the fish neatly labeled as freshwater fish and salt water fish. 

There is nothing that R loves more than a well labeled system.

Evening Rituals  

R and I of course continue with our weekend routines of going to the park and having a picnic.

He is very jealous of our time here and does not allow me to talk to people.

He has many tricks to enable this. For instance if we are on the swing, he will quickly instruct me to count. If we are out and about he will run to a faraway picnic bench.

DH has been exiled from the park outing- owing to the fact that one day he came with us and then teased R by taking his baton and walking off with it.

 R does not understand teasing at all and so this family ritual is over

A pity as I used to love the time we had all three of us – me and DH with our tidbits of grapes and cheese and R with his bounty of junk food.

There is always something interesting to look at in the park.

I meet many foreigners in the park. I am very interested in what they do to strike up a conversation.

Indian people invariably ask – “do you live close by- which road”

This is a quick classification to figure out whether you live in a house(which means you have arrived) or in an Apartment( which means not yet)

The next question is where you work. 

For white people – these questions would be quite stalkerish but Indians always like to classify people and I am never offended.

Some of the women look lonely. 

The life of an immigrant can be very tough. Especially if you are not too close to your husband. 

As arranged marriage is quite common in India still and so you can get married to someone you barely know and move to a brand new country.

DH and I are super close and are able to go anywhere as we are our own ecosystem and never feel lonely as we always have each other to talk to

I chatted with one of the ladies yesterday (I see her every day and always thought she was aloof but turns out she is very eager to talk and is just shy)

She said that it was so grey every day that she just has to come out and not be stuck in the house.

She said apologetically that she was an engineer but now "just a homemaker".

I tear up a little at this (there is nothing to apologize for being a homemaker of course – but to feel that whatever you are doing is less than what you are supposed to is a sad feeling to have. I am very familiar with this feeling as I felt guilty for a long time after R’s diagnosis for being a working mom.)

One  days there is a silent Japanese lady fishing – R is enthralled at all the fish in her bucket.(though he is very la-di-da and uninterested in the fishing rod that DH has bought for him)

There are some couples who are so bundled up with barely their noses showing though its only 60 degrees.

We feed the ducks - who recognize us as people who feed them and are getting to be quite obnoxious in their demands for food and are oblivious to my go aways

Picture taken by R 

Letters writing rituals  

My father, sister and I have started an email chain.

We write to each other everyday.

Getting an email everyday is such a treat as I get to know the little bits and pieces that otherwise  no one thinks to share. 

For instance, this little snippet from my sister's life , my nephew – whose English is not so good is asked to make sentences and here is what he makes

l. Horror -This movie is horror
2. Chilly - This water is full of chilly and ice

I smile over these details all day and it makes me feel so close to my family though we meet for 10 days every other year.

Bed Time Rituals

R and I have started a routine of reading poems at bed time. I think he loves the rhythm in rhymes.

It also helps us have little conversations

The other day, we are reading about loneliness and I wondered if he knew the word. Here is what we discuss.

Me : R do you ever feel lonely

R : Yes

Me: What kind of feeling is it

R : Very sad

Me: What do you do when you feel lonely

R : We can go to Chloes house ( the recent vacation in Canada – where we all did nothing but eat and relax and play video games and chat )

An Autism Event

It seems that everywhere you turn in Seattle – there is someone with Autism. 

Microsofties – particularly seem to have a lot of autistic children ( they says Engineers have a higher chance of having kids with autism)

One of the charity events this year is a Zumba class.

Lo and behold – when I get to the event – the class is being taught by an autistic girl. 

She is obviously autistic ( in the middle) but teaches the class really well. She is also going to college and studying to be a radiologist.

I Zumba through my tears and the feeling comes over me  for the first time this year that I am exactly where I should be.

(For my heart is still in Knoxville – the sweet kind company I worked for, the slow pace of life- and I dream of it often. The dreams are so real- full color and I wake up with dismay in the emerald-grey present)

Gratitude Journal

A ritual that DH (reluctantly ) and I have started what I call the gratitude journal.

Every night before sleeping we write down 3 things we are grateful for that day.

It’s a very nice thing – we try to keep it at the small stuff – in the details as the whole point is to focus on the little joys that the day brought

Example one days good things were:

·       Playing with R  -  he pays attention now – Instead of simply lining up the trains by number we read the poem of Henry's ballad. He and I do a little play with the Little Einsteins people

·       Started watching Newsroom - its epic

·       Red grapes from Costco  - was starving  and found a bowl  of washed cut red grapes

·       Had 2 meetings  while walking

It’s a very nice way to end the day.

DH and I had got into a routine of discussing our to-do list and our worries at bedtime and this is a much better way to end the day.

Its not that things are easier.

All of us are sick – DH especially so with a really bad cold that has left him exhausted. 

Work is as stressful as ever. And R continues to need more than we can give and then some.

But it’s about a shift in focus to the little joys of life

Gratitude is a practice.

Happiness is a verb