Baby’s First Halloween

Well the "baby" is almost six

But that is what it feels like

DH and I have gone through the motions every year – not wanting to deprive R of an occasion that was so important to all children his age , yet suspecting that it meant nothing.

But this year – things have finally clicked

His class teacher said that they were doing "career day" for Halloween

DH and I smiled ruefully when we saw the note and exchanged raised eyebrows

However- we are good sports

And so we asked his therapist to show him a list of flashcard of "career people "

She said doubtfully that he showed some interest in the doctor

DH and I laughed at this for this is such an Indian stereotype – right after curry and spelling bees ( the joke goes – mom is telling daughter – "you can be Whatever you want ,……neurologist, general surgeon , etc and you can marry whoever you want – neurologist , psychiatrist, etc" )

SO DH went and got a costume

"Cant believe I paid 40 bucks..luckily its big enough so he can wear it for the next few years "

And so the day of "School Halloween"comes

DH has told R about being a doctor last night and has packed his costume in his school bag

But in the morning R keeps wailing and crying " no school .. no school "

We keep asking why he does not want to go to school

Finally he writes "Docter" on the frig

And then we finally comprehend – he thinks there will be a doctor appointment at the school

So we explain to him that he will be the doctor

We put on his costume – show him his name written on it R, MD

Oh how fast the tears vanish .

Knowing he will be the torturer not the torturee is all he needs to know

And school Halloween is great

On Sunday, for neighborhood Halloween, I am feeling too lazy

But DH forces me to go

"His teacher said he practiced" he says , working on my well-developed guilt muscle

R is absorbed in the intricacies of using "ou" and "ow" in words on a video he has found on youtube and tells me "no costume "

At his moment a HUGE gaggle of kids comes to our house in costume and as I hand out candy

As soon as R sees these kids, his mood changes

He does his excited happy dervish dance and rushes to get his costume

Luck is on our side and in our first stop is Lucy and she not only makes a huge fuss of him but also has his favorite candy "blue raspberry dum dum"

R informs all our neighbors that "we wish you a happy Halloween "( this is a modification of his favorite Christmas song ) and stares at them unblinkingly –

He also refuses to take any candy ( since the Blue Dum Dums and Junior Mint are not being offered by any other house )

But he is so cute and they are so nice that we have a great time

And at the end of each visit he crows "more trick or treat"

I think of my friend Jos's words when she spoke about her daughter

I believe L will do everything, but in her own time. I don't mind … she can take all the time she needs … but I have faith she will do it all."

And she is right

Baby's first Halloween has come 5 years late

Baby's first Halloween has taken a dress rehearsal in school and 5 real life attempts - for it to take on meaning

But its no less joyful for that

Happy Halloween