Not doing enough

My inner monster that tells me I am notdoingenough is alive and flourishing
I fed him well last night with guilt and insomania - the other truth is I am spending a load of time on the internet and also am watching some TV
for the past two days I have really done a rotten job in the evening of having some meaningful interaction
Here are my excuses

1. Too bloody hot and muggy outside ( I suppose I could do things inside)
2. R just wants to swing and he will usually fall asleep if I swing him and then wake up BAD tempered and grumpy -And then he will not sleep half the night ( avoid the swing - what about swinging after battime at 9 with some citronella???- Hmmm there is an idea )
3. With no sleep in the night and a 6 am wake up time I am usually tired too ( sleep on time )
4. With R at home all day the house is a real mess( I guess I could screw the mess and ignore it - which as I am a flylady right now is Impossible to do )

Not normal ..just perfect

I suddenly realized today why moms of older kids on the spectrum look a little resigned - not necessarily sad - but as though they are bracing themselves
As R gets older - in another 100 or so days( that sounds better than 3 months doesn't it ?) he will be 4 years old - I am more and more certain that we wont be one of those indistinguishable ones.
Soon people will stop telling me "oh he is still so young"
I am really not dreaming of Mainstream schooling. I do think I will have to read up on Special Ed laws. We have even talked about homeschooling at some point becasue I dont think that either Dh or I have a particular aptitude for fighting with the school system - nor do we really want to
You can wrangle out 30 more minutes of services but if they dont already ... can you get them to care
Dont think however that I am too despondent .
He HAS learned a lot
And sometimes I also think that while he may not be normal but he is still quite perfect just the way he is

Repeat of day before yesterday
No therapist today either
Weather was atleast better than yesterday

OUr therapist called in sick last evening
And why does it always have to be last minute - like at the time she is supposed to come -
At 6 which is the therapy time she will realise that she is sick !!!!
Basically what it tells me is that she forgot or does not feel like it !
Why not give some advance notice
- it always discombobulates me when they do that as it puts more pressure on me to make the evening productive for R and also usually I do my stuff while the therapist is here - like finish up dinner or hop on the treadmill
I did some follow the lead with him and went and swung with him etc and then when he took a bath I cleaned up the house and made some dinner

The joy of pointing

My son can point!
OMG
What joy !
He used to point in order to answer qyuestions in his VBA but now he points to tell me what to do !!
Like today I went home for lunch -
When he saw me through the window - where he was sitting on the couch he started bouncing up and down -
I put my hands on the window - so he would put his hands on from the other side
But
He pointed to me - and then pointed to the door
You ! Get in the door !!!
My cup of happiness runneth over
Thank you god

Parent Therapy

oh yes and I meant to write about what we did last evening
Flashcards from Bumble bee - Tried to get him to pronounce the beginning sounds of all the words
Rough housing and tickling
Walking and swinging ourside - following the lead with that

Mischief

Stimminess in the evening ( due to cheese Quesadilla in the afternoon?)
He was so cute last night - I was tickling and he was running away and hiding behind his Dad giggling away and then coming back for more tickles
- Then in the night - I had turned some sleepy music on and he thought I was asleep so he ran giggling to the boom box and took the CD out and came back to bed hugging me tight and literally shaking with silent laughter
He is such a delight - he has never hidden behind his Dad before like that and he has not been deliberately mischievious ever
In the evening when we were taking a walk and encountened MRs H and Mrs C who are soooo sweet and very nice to him always he looked around them with unseeing eyes and refuse to ackknowledge their presence - let alone say his prompted Hi

No dairy and wanted to say Simminess is still down - Fingers crossed

Love affair with FOUR

I just realised why DS loves the word FOUR - he writes this with Foam letters on the side of the bathtub - he was touching each letter and then looking at me expectantly
I thought he wanted me to sound out the words Phoneteically - then he startted touching the letters with the number of fingers
one finger on F
two fingers in O
etc
And then I realised
PERFECT symmetry
A four letter word that means FOUR
Its the only one that does that
Learned something new today

When I went home for lunch DH said he was far less stimmy than yesterday
- no cheese today so far - but its not like he has cheese for breakfast on the other days either
But it was really nice to see him calm and collected rather than simmy and disoriented

Is Dairy the evil

R has been so stimmy these days- lots of odd expressions and hand flapping !!!!
I wonder why the great leap we saw the first two weeks have reduced a little
The vocalizations are still there - in addition - we are getting a lot of accurate pointing 0- pointing to a thing to want it
But the general "with-it"ness is much less
And the stiminess is much more
Anyway we have also been giving him Pizza a lot these past few weeks- that too with oduble cheese and turns out that Dr Neubrander recommends not to do that
We will try stopping that ( no t eliminating dairy ) but reducing double cheese
And I will record if there is any change in behavior

Where is he at right now

A friend asked this on a message board and I think its a good thing to keep
so here is my own progress report on R
Language
Not really verbal - However receptive language has come a LONG way - and we can no longer talk or spell in front of him He will request several items by their first syllables like Duh Duh for Dum Dums or Bu for Blues Clues or Sheeee for Sleep things like that 2.
Potty training
Sporadic efforts and very sporadic progress- He will pee on the small potty though
Fine motor skills
Have not notices
Developmental Leaps
RIght after we started MB 12 I noticed a substantial increase in vocalizations but after that its been a plateau - one big change I have noticed is that he now frequently points correctly to ask for things etc
Regression
Great increase in stimminess post startting probiotics and enzymes - stopped them
Favorite pastimes
Snuggling and rough housing, Swinging, Watching DVD's Musicals like Blues CLues and Moo Shoo and Listening to "They May be Giants" making up words on word whammer, playing with numbers and alphabet, carries around geeky things like woooden numbers, the rubiks cube ( I guess the squareness or the colors ) and foam alphabets

Cleaning the house

BTW - I am doing a GREAT job with Fly Lady - the house looks AWESOME - I got rid of some clutter and I am continuing to declutter
I was already doing menu planning and shopping and cooking for the week ( DH does all the shoppping - thank goodness - its one thing that I truly loathe )
The other things that are really helping are the evening routines of blessing the house
- I spend about 5 minutes straightening up each room - blessing each room as Fly lady would say !
and it really looks clean and pretty !
I still have a ways to go though
The other thing that has happenned is that I have no desire to acquire things any more - which is really amazing too

I am crossing my fingers so I don’t jinx myself when I say this - I have started putting my nightgown on R like a cover when I wake up in the morning this is one great trick DIdi taught me and becasue of that he assumes I am there and so goes on sleeping for a long time and wakes up refreshed
His sense of smell is very strong
Yesterday he wrote the word – “TAPER( E) D” and “CARPET(E)D”
I was wondering where he read these words till the mystery was solved – DH has been keeping a book on “Home Improvements” around – this book has 1-2-3 in its title and is therefore of great interest to R
Yesterday they went to the swimming pool and really enjoyed themselves

One of the great things about our team of VB people is that 

they all truly seem to beleive that R is very smart 

they genuinely care about him

they all beleive that we should not get more hours of ABA for him - they all say an hour a day is more than enough  

Sleep

Just continues to be a PITA
WHen DS seelps at a decent hour like 9 - he is up at 5 - which would be fine - except he is groggy in his VB session in the evening
( of course I dont like getting up at 5 am either becasue its rare when I can get to sleep before 12 )
And then I am groggy all day
Yes I know I should go to bed earlier
But there is always so much to do !
Play with Rohan all evening and then do other work things in the house
For instance yesterday

1. When he was in VB - I cleaned the car
2. Then after he went to bed at 9.30 - I tossed 27 things away ( fly lady )
3. Shined the kitchen sink
4. Emtied dishwasher and cleared up kitchen
5. Cleared one cupboard and sorted out a few drawers of clothes
   

Why is the house so dirty these days ?
Why do I spend all my evenings in housework ?

Letting Baby Grow up

Lately I have been wondering
Are we holding DS back - Our BCBA was doing the ABLL's with us last Tuesday and we realised how woefully inadequate WE have been in teaching DS life skills- Potty training , feeding skills , dressing skills - you name it - we fail it
In front o f the BCBA we excused this with our cultural difference ( we grew up in India and in India kids are babies into adulthood )
But lately I have been wondering if I actually baby DS in my mind so I can think of him as a baby and then he does not seem so behind in his social stuff
I decided to start with the words and no longer use the term "Baby" with him ( like in the way of cooing nonsense to him - who is Mumma's baby love)
I am struck by how hard it is
First I used to use it a lot - I mean a LOT. And then on top of that I feel disconnected to him - as though I have severed something precious in our relationship
He is still the child that wails outside the bathroom when I am inside
Who pulls me to the sofa for nursies as soon as he sees me
But he is no longer my baby
Which is as it should be
It makes me very sad

The past 3 weeks

Have not been very good - I have been sick with an allergic reaction to Poison Ivy and DH has had minor surgery - My sister and niece have left and DS is on a definite plateau
Its a plateau and I know plateaus will eventually lead to a step forward but Platues are definitely discouraging
Also he has been stimming quite a lot and quite noisily
On the plus side with family gone - I can agian focus fully and completely on DS - which I had missed doing
I am reading Sink Reflections - the house is full of Clutter and I am really getting quite sick of it - I need to take a few bags to Goodwill and clear out some stuff BEFORE Ma gets here in September as she( like DH ) hates to give away stuff- in case we need it some day